By The Candy Jedi
Photo manipulated by Aunt Wally
Unbeknownst to many, Ryan Stasik of Umphrey’s McGee was awarded one Nickelodeon‘s orange blimp Kid’s Choice Awards on March 28th, 2015. The nomination initially came as a shock to the bass player, “I didn’t even know kids listened to rock and roll anymore,” he shared in a recent tell all interview for People Magazine.
The category of Favorite Bassist was added just this year to help kids realize that music can actually be made with actual instruments instead of on a laptop. Voted on by Nickelodeon viewers, this award show acknowledges artists and actors that sometimes get overshadowed as being too much a part of the “grown-up” side of the entertainment industry. Stasik is actually a long time fan of the kid oriented network, especially the show “Clarissa Explains It All” which originally aired on the cable network from ’91 to ’94. “I always had a mad crush on Melissa Joan Hart,” Stasik shared, “At least, until she became a witch.”
While the win initially came as a shock, the events that followed were down right frightening. As Stasik was giving his acceptance speech and thanking Katy Perry for having Umphrey’s participate in her Super Bowl performance, Nickelodeon’s signature green slime began to spill over the bassist’s head. The thick goop eventually covered him from head to toe, but while the young audience laughed, Stasik let out a horrific screech.
“It burns! It burns!” he screamed as he wiped the slime off his skin and out of his eyes, but it was already too late. Although an allergic reaction has never happened before, doctors say Stasik was very close to going into anaphylactic shock when he finally arrived at the hospital. Luckily someone had an extra Epi pen backstage to prevent the bass player from hyperventilating.
While he is still feeling the side effects of being slimed, doctors predict he will make a full recovery. “They told me to ‘take it easy’ which I initially took as a joke from the movie Nacho Libre, but I guess they really meant I had to slow things down,” Stasik stated. “Being a Nickelodeon famous celebrity is a risky business, but I am more proud of this orange blimp than I was of my recent Grammy. I’ll keep up my recovery so I can be back on that stage next year, sans slime.”
Nickelodeon has made no official statement about the event but sources say they are looking into alternatives for their green slime that are more hypoallergenic.