EVERYTHING IN THIS NEWSPAPER IS REAL! NONE OF IT HAS EVER BEEN MADE UP EVER!!
Why would we do that to you? That sounds so mean…we’re here to report the news, not to have a sense of humor or make light or poke gentle fun at ourselves and the band we love. People like that are fucking assholes who just think they’re funny. We’re a serious news establishment. So when we say that Joel rode upon a seal for his birthday or that Bayliss as given up wine for spiked LaCroix, we mean it, dammit.
The Utopian Blur is a parody news magazine in the same vein as The Onion, focused around Umphrey’s McGee and their fanbase. Created by Joshua Colky and the team behind Umphreak’s Anonymous and The Umphreak Collective.